In Kind Remembrance Of Our Friend Gautom Thakuria

Last Monday did not start on a good note. Mid-morning we got to hear that a very dear friend of ours, Gautom Thakuria from New Jersey, was in the hospital, seriously ill. Seven hours later, we received the news that we were not ready to hear: he was no more.

It pains me immensely to write this piece, and I struggle with my emotions and feelings. The only reason for penning my thoughts is to pay a humble tribute and honor those moments that will forever be cherished and preserved. This is the least that I can do for a profound friendship that my husband Anjan and I shared with this gem of a person for over three decades.

My family and I got to know Gautom Thakuria only through Anjan, but there was such a great warmth in his personality that he ended up being close to all of us. He struck a chord with my brother and became a favorite of my parents whom he immensely respected. For me, he was like an elder brother whom I addressed as Gautom Da.

Anjan and Gautom Da started off as colleagues, working together for a few years. But as they say, long-lasting friendships are made by God. Their association transcended the professional realm, and they bonded to nurture a relationship that remained strong and intact.

Traveling down memory lane, I open a box of treasured moments. Perhaps I can go on forever, but let me relive just a few.

When it came to opening a new chapter of our lives in a country seven seas across from India, our timelines were somewhat similar. Gautom Da’s marriage to Moon in December 1991 was exactly a week later from Anjan’s and mine. As newly wedded couples, we flew all the way to the USA for the husbands to start their master’s in the spring of 1992. Gautom and Moon were in Athens, Ohio, and we were in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Those were not the days when technology had opened the gateways for unlimited, affordable, and free communication. As students, we could manage limited phone calls to friends and family, and Anjan and Gautom Da took turns to call each other to stay in touch.

I clearly remember Anjan’s first call to Athens. He had disguised his voice, asking silly questions and making Gautom Da wonder who on earth had called him. A few minutes later, he broke down into peals of laughter when he realized that he was being fooled all along.

Etched in our minds is Gautom Da’s visit all the way to Knoxville to see us. Our trip together to the Smoky Mountains was one of the very few outings that we had in our first year in the USA.

Post our student days, Gautom Da and Moon moved to New Jersey and we to Atlanta. We first visited them in November 1995. Together we had gone for a Thanksgiving dinner to another friend’s place.

I will not forget the hospitality that was showered upon us by Gautom Da and Moon at their home. The interesting chats till late at night and the nine-course meal that Moon served us for lunch were the highlights.

The sands of time blew fast, and we moved ahead. Anjan and I were blessed with our son Ayan, and Kukie brought in loads of joy for Gautom Da and Moon as their loving daughter. In spite of being busy with our lives and responsibilities, we knew what was happening at either end. Whenever we talked or met, we could start off from the point at which we left off the last time.  

Gautom Da had those unique traits which distinguished him from many. He could accept people unconditionally sans judgment. That infectious smile spread a warm radiance. The kindness that flew through his veins led him to go that extra mile to help anyone in need.

With that aura of simplicity around him, who could even tell that this was a man who shone with academic brilliance throughout, securing a rank in his tenth-standard state board exams and excelling in his engineering studies? This was because humility defined him.

Our destinies are written, and we have no control over what is planned by that unseen, invisible force orchestrating our lives. Gautom Da was ill for the last few years, yet his positivity was in total command. To the utmost level possible, he never stepped back from carrying out his normal routine. This optimism was what made his life meaningful in the middle of adversity.

The last time we corresponded with Gautom Da was on his birthday on December 29. He talked about having a Satyanarayan Puja at their home and looked forward to having a good time with Moon and Kukie. It never occurred to us that exactly a month later fate would have other plans in store: that we would never get to text or talk to him again.

Some people touch our lives in such a way that even long after they are gone, they leave behind an inspiration for what a kind, loving, wonderful human being needs to be. Gautom Da, without an iota of doubt, was that rare soul that I had come across.

You will be very dearly missed Gautom Da! Rest in peace, and smile at us from Heaven!